Tantric sex combines the principles of yoga and meditation to weave together sex and spirituality. It is rooted in ancient Hindu and Buddhist texts and practices dating back to at least the sixth century A.D.
A loose tradition to begin with, The Tantric teachings offer no clear record of their origins, even when it comes to the meaning of the term Tantra, which has been variously defined as "web," "weaving," "expansion," and "liberation." No matter what the definition, at the heart of Tantra, or to be more precise, Tantric sexuality, is honest communication and the creating of intimacy before sex.
Margo Anand, founder of the SkyDancing Institute, helps Westerners better understand the art of Tantra. "Instead of having sex … try making love. Sex is work when your heart isn’t in it. Forget about sex. Just play first. Dance, sing, read to each other, make up poems, be tender, open your hearts, communicate. Let sex be the crowning of this exchange … First develop intimacy skills, then make love to enjoy them."
Yes, it’s true. You can reach the heights of stupendous orgasm again and again and again! Extend your climax, deepen your intimacy, and awaken your creativity — all at the same time. Sound too good to be true? It isn’t. Read on to learn more about Tantra, the ancient Eastern art of lovemaking.
With some commitment and practice you can learn the secrets of Tantra. It can transform your sexual experience — your entire relationship — from mundane routine to incredible excitement. Your sex life wont ever be the same!
Sex has become a very mental occupation, according to researchers Allan and Donna Brauer in their book, "Better, Safer Sexual Intimacy and Extended Orgasmic Response."
Here are some examples:
- The average orgasm is only ten seconds long.
- The average frequency of intercourse is once or twice a week for most couples.
- That equals about 20 seconds of orgasm per week; one and a half minutes per month, or 18 whole ecstatic minutes each year.
- Just so you know, in 50 years, that would be about 15 hours.
We devote thousands and thousands of hours to fantasizing about sex, worrying about sex, daydreaming about sex, wishing for sex, planning for sex … for 15 hours of ecstasy in 50 years.
Tantric sex is not about adding more orgasms, it’s about being orgasmic, which is our very nature. You can learn how to prolong your orgasms from ten seconds to ten minutes or more when you expand your idea of orgasm beyond the genitals into a "whole body" experience.
With the mastery of advanced techniques, couples are able to reach orgasm without even touching each other! Get a load of that …
Ejaculatory control is essential to keeping the orgasmic energy going. Using breath control combined with various postures, the magical energy can be captured and manipulated to reach the highest heights. Men can learn to experience orgasm without ejaculating, and both men and women can experience transcendental orgasms that include their hearts, minds, and entire bodies.
The Art of Tantra
Start very simply. Set aside about 15 minutes several times a week to practice getting in tune with your body and with your partner’s body. Think of it as your private time to explore and discover. Okay, it sounds crazy — where in the world will you find the time? But if you want to make a commitment to Tantra, you’ll need to make your relationship a priority. And that’s a good thing!
Before you start, here are a few pointers:
- Make sure you’re at a basic level of fitness.
- Go slowly. Rest when your body is tired. Your stamina will increase with regular practice.
- Wait awhile after eating before you start the exercises.
- Practice in a warm room with indirect sunlight.
- Know your limits. Never force your body beyond its capacity.
- Create a welcoming environment — incense, soft music, candles, etc.
- Unplug the phone. Turn down the lights. Lock the door. Slip away.
- Rest a bit after you finish. Take some time to transition before heading back to your day to day life.
Appreciate Your Partner
Sit quietly, cross legged, facing each other. Breathe softly but deeply. Rest your hands on your knees, palms up.
Look into, but focus beyond, your partner’s eyes. Keep your eyes wide open throughout this practice. Eyes are the windows to the soul, and the key to achieving true intimacy.
Become conscious of your breathing, and that of your partner. Try to breathe comfortably at the same pace, moving the air slowly in through your nose and out through your mouth. Keep eye contact while you breathe together.
After you’ve practiced for a few weeks and feel comfortable appreciating your partner in this way, try staying in the position for 15 minutes steady. Simply keep eye contact with your partner, and do nothing else. Think of yourselves as two people who have been together for so long that there’s nothing left to say or do. Try not to fall asleep or daydream. Don’t give in to the urge to smile, be cute or funny. If you do laugh or giggle, start over. Hold the position for 15 minutes, then relax.
You and your partner lie on your left sides, facing in the same direction (some call it spooning). Whoever feels more stressed should take the inside position. Both of you close your eyes and relax. Begin by focusing on your own breathing. When you’re ready, move your attention to your partner’s breathing.
Now you can get your breathing in synch. Inhale together, hold the breath, then exhale together. Repeat for five to ten minutes.
Sit cross legged, facing each other, and look into your partner’s eyes. Press your foreheads together. Synchronize your breathing.
Slowly inhale and fill your chest with air — as much air as you can take in. Contract your genital muscle when you feel as if your lungs are full.
Now, lift your chin and bring your mouth to your partner’s, piercing his or her lips with your breath. Release the air gently, yet suddenly.
Synchronize your breathing again. Now, let your partner take in the breath and release it into you.
Two Bodies As One
Lie flat on your back, feet to feet with your partner. Now, bend your knees, and interlock your legs as if you were forming a single body with a head on either end. Once in position, don’t move. Begin by focusing your attention on your own body, starting from your head and moving to your toes. Separate the sensation of your body from your partner’s.
Next, start noticing your partner’s body, imagining it as part of your own. Create the vision of yourself as having one large body with a head at each end, four arms, interlocking legs in the center. Hold this position for 15 minutes.
Sit upright, facing each other, instead of lying down. Hold your hands facing up on your partner’s knees. Relax your back and neck, loosen your facial muscles. You can close your eyes or keep them open and press your foreheads together.
Once you’ve mastered the exercises described here, you may be ready for "Riding the Wave of Bliss." You and your partner come together and lock in a mouth to mouth, genital to genital embrace. Create a continuous flow of energy following the oval shape formed by your torsos. Imagine that your physical body, personality, and gender have vanished, leaving only the flow of energy. Concentrate on the energy, enjoy the flow.
Well here we are, some of you will be excited about the things you have seen here, and would perhaps think about making the transition from where you are, to the whole new and exciting way of the tantra’s.
There are many tantra’s, the tantra of sex, or Tantric sexuality as seen in these pages, is only a part of the way of life, that Hindu’s and Buddhist’s have followed for thousands of years. The learning and practice of the topics discussed here will in no short measure, improve any persons sex life, you don’t have to be Buddhist or Hindu, just open and honest, remember to give first, and accept graciously and gratefully, that which is given to you…
Much has been said about the attitude of Westerners to their own sexuality, it would seem that the whole reason for sex is simply, for "self" to have an orgasm, and as you have seen in these pages, that is but a very small part of our existence, the fact is that any form of sexual activity, even masturbation, and the sex act itself can be a very beautiful, fulfilling and very spiritual experience for anyone who really want’s to make a wonderful difference in their relationship.