Tantra

The concept of, and the vast body of teachings embraced by the word Tantra, is far more ancient than any scholar or historian has been able to trace.

Tantra is the stuff of life.

Tantra has come to us in the west from two long held, and multi faceted traditions: Buddhist Tantra, and Hindu Tantra, it seems that both originated in India although to be a little more precise, Buddhist Tantra comes to us through the Tibetan Culture, because it seems that Buddhism faded and disappeared in India about 1200 years ago.

Although the many forms of Tantra are unique and different, there are some important generalizations that can be made about all Tantra: Tantra is a way of life that involves acceptance, not rejection, of all life. It does not reject anyone or any particular “spiritual path” or psychological area of study. It embraces the whole of life. Everything has its own perfect reason for being, everything fits perfectly into life.

Tantra shows us that within every moment of our lives, within every feeling and thought, every activity, is contained deep and powerful truths, which, if examined in a clear light, can lead to true personal freedom, in a very short time.

Tantra teaches respect for the individual, and recognizes that every individual must evolve in his or her own way. There is no pat system which will work for everyone, there is only endless evolution, which we are involved in whether we are conscious of it or not. Simply becoming conscious of this process is the most important thing we can do to speed up the process, and move into a state of being where we are happy and free.

The Western world is now ripe for the ideas and practices of Tantra. Westerners are often too individualistic and too worldly-wise to accept most forms of Eastern thought and practice, because they contain a great many of the cultural trappings of India. While India has been a fertile source of great philosophy and spiritual truths, the country is still very much influenced by the Victorian beliefs and attitudes which were deeply instilled during the British rule.

As a result, many of the spiritual and philosophical traditions of the East seem to encourage Westerners to go without sex, meat, alcohol, coffee or any other ‘impure’ foods, to live a life of rigorous discipline, and to reject a great part of the culture, heritage, and lifestyles of the West.

A study of the history of Tantra reveals that its power, its ability to adapt so successfully to other cultures, relies on the fact that it does not reject anything of the culture to which it has been introduced.
We don’t have to give up sex and meat and TV in order to achieve freedom and happiness. This is the effectiveness and power of Tantra. We can create our lives exactly as we want them to be.

I should point out that to learn Tantra would be a lifetime of learning, however, aspects of Tantra can be applied to everyday life, knowing what I now know, and had I my life over I would have started learning at a very early age.

The word “Tantra” is the Indian word, which means a written/woven text. These texts were known as threads or fundamentals, because their subject matter invariably concerned important issues such as sex, religion, or the attainment of enlightenment.

A Tantra is the written equivalent to a mantra, a spoken chant or prayer which could bring about a union with God if used correctly and repeatedly. Likewise a yantra was a drawing or painting, usually geometric, that could produce a similar result if studied hard enough or meditated upon.

The original Tantric way, was probably Hindu. The Hindu’s believed that there was a four-way path towards enlightenment. The first was dharma – following correct social and moral behaviour; this obviously varied depending on what caste you were or what profession you followed. The second of the aims was artha – material wealth and comfort. The third was karma – love and physical pleasure. And the fourth was enlightenment itself – kaivalya – brought about by following the first three.

All of the Aims have different texts written about them which are known as sutras, or philosophies, hence the Kama Sutra – The philosophy of love and pleasure, which is, in part, the subject of this and other pages on my web site.

Tantric Energy

Some of what I will write here will concern the movement of energy – kundalini to the Indians, ch’i to the Chinese, as well as the Indian concept of the Chakras, energy centres situated throughout the body. I should point out that is necessary to have a reasonable grounding in the philosophies behind these concepts if you are to make real use of the techniques. These philosophies will enable you to explore this energy, how to begin to raise your consciousness, how to channel it and how to increase it, all through the enjoyable and exciting path of sexual awareness. See below for some excellent books on these subjects.

One of the first steps that we need to take in order to gain well founded sexual awareness, is to realize that we need to be able to give, without thought of reward, true sexual pleasure comes from our ability to give, and keep on giving, it will come back to you, it really is quite simple, you have to put in before you can get out, give, without taking.

We need to know and understand our partner, Tantra is about communication, be it spoken or unspoken, Tantra is about sharing with your partner, in the most intimate and fulfilling ways, Tantra is also about honesty and openness, being open enough to accept that which passes between partners, and honest enough to accept that we may always have room for improvement in our relationship, not only with our partner, but the whole universe

Greater sexual awareness is, in itself a huge reward, we in the west have a great deal to learn from the Tantra’s about our sexuality, don’t take my word for it, look into it and you will discover a whole new, rewarding way of life.

The Tantra Of Love

Information For A Better Understanding Of Our Sexuality

Chakra

Most of the Tantric texts agree that love is one of the most fundamental and energetic forces a human being can encounter. That force can be used positively to progress one’s spiritual experience. They say that the love we can feel for another human being is but a tiny part of the love we can feel for God and that sex is a physical manifestation of that love. They feel that sex when enjoyed with the right focus is a powerful tool, and one that can be used with God’s blessing.

It may seem strange to Westerners that sex can be enjoyed freely and yet still be part of a spiritual or religious life. This approach is somewhat different from Western religions where sex is often seen as something to be repressed or denied.

The Tantric texts agree that there is a movement of energy within the human body during sex that can be both felt and used. This energy is physical. It rises up during the arousal of sex and can be directed and channeled. According to the Hindu Tantric texts we have within us six energy centres known as Chakras. These energy centres each have a specific area of human life that they are said to control.

• The base chakra – Muladhara – is situated at the base of the spine between the genitals and the anus. This chakra governs our instincts and genetic coding. It is usually represented by a yellow square. The mantra for the base chakra is lam.
• The pelvic chakra – Swadhishthana – is situated at the genitals themselves. This chakra governs our sexual life. It is usually represented by a white crescent. The mantra for the pelvis chakra is vam.
• The navel chakra – Manipuraka – is situated at the navel. This chakra governs our personal power. It is usually represented by a red triangle. The mantra for the navel chakra is ram.
• The heart chakra – Anahata – is situated at the heart. This chakra governs our love. It is usually represented by a blue hexagon. The mantra for the heart chakra is yam.
• The throat chakra – Vishuddha – is situated at the throat. This chakra governs our communication. It is usually represented by a white circle. The mantra for the throat chakra is ham.
• The brow chakra – Ajna – is situated between the brows. This chakra governs our intellect and thought processes. It is usually represented by an inverted white triangle. The mantra for the brow chakra is om.

Each of these chakras also has a Hindu God attributed to it as well as various symbolic animals, flowers, elements, seasons and a letter of the Sanskrit alphabet.

There is also another chakra worth considering; this is not a true chakra like the others but rather is known as a shuddha and it is situated at the crown of the head. It is sometimes known as the Crown chakra but it doesn’t operate in quite the same way as the others. Its name is sahasrara and it is the home of the Goddess Shakti – the God Shiva is said to reside in the brow chakra.

The whole point of raising the kundalini energy from the base chakra up the spine to the brow chakra, and then on the crown chakra, is to free Shiva so he may be reunited with Shakti, and the great cosmic reunion of the male and female principles can take place.

This state of divine bliss is known as samadhi – enlightenment.

Tantric Sex

O you men, one and all, who are soliciting the love of Woman and her affection, and who wish that sentiment in her heart to be of an enduring nature, play with her previous to intercourse; prepare her for enjoyment, and neglect nothing to attain that end. Explore her with the greatest care, and entirely occupied with her, let nothing else engage your thoughts. Do not let the moment best for pleasure pass away; that moment when you see her eyes moist and half closed. Then go to work, but remember, not until your kisses and playing have taken effect.

From: The Perfumed Garden.

The Practical Application of Tantra

An Exercise

I have included this breathing exercise here, although it may seem out of place, Simply put, I have found that it is very beneficial during foreplay. It can in itself be very erotic.

Breath is life. Mice breathe very fast – they live short lives. Tortoises breathe very slowly – they live long lives.

Breathing is not a conscious activity for most humans. We expect to just be able to do it. Yet the key to greater health and vitality, experiences of higher consciousness states and the full body orgasm is mastery of the breath. Yogis place a great emphasis on learning to deepen and lengthen the breath. Becoming conscious of the breath and it’s patterns is the first step in this process.

This is a simple but profound practice. Allow about 15 minutes for this exercise. Wear loose clothing without a belt, or better still, nothing at all, and allow at least an hour since your last meal. Lie comfortably on the floor on your back in a quiet place where you wont be disturbed. Rest a few minutes and then begin to notice your breath. How are you breathing? Through your mouth? Does your chest rise or your belly? Notice.

After you’ve briefly observed yourself put your hands lightly on your abdomen and begin to breathe into your hands. Take long slow breaths through your nose and visibly but gently force your belly to rise and fall with the breath. You may really have to focus on this. Don’t breath into your chest. This will be difficult for some people and easier for others. Practice sustaining this slow, steady breathing making sure to observe the gentle rising of the abdomen. Take really deep breaths. Make them slow and deliberate. Slow them as much as possible. Keep it up for ten minutes. Stay relaxed. Don’t be frustrated with yourself if this is hard. You’re in the process of learning something new and valuable. If this is easy for you just focus your awareness on your belly and breath as a meditation practice.

Try practicing this as much as possible to help it become easier and freer. Notice the times during your day that you might be breathing your old way. When we are frightened or upset we become chest breathers. This leads to a feedback loop of increased anxiety. In those moments attempt to consciously change your breath right then and there. You will calm yourself and be able to function much more effectively.

If you find yourself holding your breath take a long, slow belly breath and clean out your system. Continue with the deep belly breath. THIS IS ESPECIALLY IMPORTANT DURING LOVEMAKING. Both men and women unconsciously hold their breath as they are building their orgasmic energy during lovemaking. This does NOT facilitate orgasm let alone deep, full-body orgasm. If you notice that you’re holding your breath during lovemaking and at the time right before orgasm, relax, let go and expand your abdomen with your breath. This deep belly breath opens the channels to allow the full-body orgasm. It will help you relax and build orgasms faster, too.

Next step: Practicing with a partner might be the next step in conscious breathing for some of you. You can try this in several variations.

1) Spooning position:
Spooning is just what it seems like. Stacked spoons fit together. The two of you lie front to back with the person behind placing a hand on the front person’s heart centre. Gently begin to breath together. It usually is best for the slightly faster breather to follow the slower breather. Often this is the man following the woman, but there are exceptions. Stay relaxed and non-goal oriented. Breath into your bellies. Try to continue for five minutes. This is also an excellent way to reconnect during or after an argument.

2) Face to-face:
This position can either be lying face-to-face or sitting face-to-face. If you choose to sit, sit cross-legged as close as you can get or in the yab-yum position. Yab-yum is when one person sits cross-legged and the partner sits facing astride them with their legs wrapped around behind their partner. You can support each other in this position by putting the right hand on you partners lower back. It’s also wonderful to place your left hand on your partners heart centre. Face each other, eyes softly focused and open. Stay relaxed and non-goal oriented. Breath into your bellies. Try to continue for at least five minutes.

Variation – A Lovers Recipe:

Set aside 2 hours for this sensual ritual. An additional hour will be needed to create the set and setting.

Preparation:
You will need a few purchased items such as candles, flowers, sensual fruit like mango, papaya, small juicy oranges, kiwi fruit, possibly chocolates and a sipping liqueur (if you drink alcohol). You may also wish to exchange gifts during the ritual.

Peel, slice and arrange the food on a plate. This need not be a large amount as we are tempting the senses of smell and taste – not eating to be full. Pour a small single glass of the liqueur or whatever drink you desire. This glass will be shared by the two of you.

Arrange the bedroom with clean sheets and pillows. Set the candles in areas of the room that appeal to you. Place one or two candles in the bathroom. Pick soft, sensual music to play.

If you’ve purchased flowers place them somewhere appealing, say, on a table next to the fruit and drink.

The Evening…

• You may exchange gifts now or whenever it feels appropriate.
• Take a sensual bath together. Don’t forget to light the candles.
• Harmonize your energy by lying in the spoon position. One person can lie on their side and the partner lies behind them and embraces the person in front. Place the top hand on the heart centre. Breath slowly and deeply together for five minutes.
• Exchange massages. Begin, without using oil, to give a light, finger tip only massage and gradually explore the subtleties of touch on different areas of the body. Apply a little oil and use a firmer touch making sure to keep it sensual. The hands giving the touch should be feeling just as exquisite as the body receiving it.
• Now face each other, eyes open, and gaze into the soul through the eyes. Spend a few minutes with this, breathing slowly and deeply in to the belly. Gently, begin your lovemaking. There is no rush. Take it slow and enjoy every moment. Remember to breath into your belly,- full, slow breaths – and that orgasm is not the goal here. Fill your senses with the sight, sound and smell of your beloved.
• Use the food and drink that you’ve prepared to open the senses. Tease a little. Ask your partner to close their eyes and let them briefly smell what you are offering first. Lightly brush the morsel across their lips allowing them to feel the smooth textures before slipping it into their mouth.
• Voice any appreciations to your partner that you may be feeling. Let them know how precious this time is to you. ENJOY.

Another Exercise

You can try this exercise on alternate days or nights. The beauty of this exercise is that there is no going first. whoever gives first receives also. Let’s suppose it’s the woman who is to receive first, Her partner should run her a warm bath and prepare the bathroom with incense and candles. Make an occasion of it, She can relax and enjoy the bath while her lover washes her all over. She must tell him how she likes her hair washed, let him do it for her She is being worshiped as a representation of the ultimate female energy.

After her bath she should find somewhere warm to lie down perhaps on a rug in front of the fire. Her lover can then massage her with essential oils. This is not a therapeutic massage to ease muscular aches and tension (although it may well do that as a bonus) but rather a massage so her lover can explore her body caress her in a nonsexual way. He should touch and soothe every part of her body until she feels her skin shine and burst with energy. She must tell him how she feels, which bits feel best, where she likes being touched most, how much pressure to use. how his hands feel on her body.
This massage usually produces a warm soporific effect but can also induce sexual tension as well. And that’s fine.

Her lover should bring her to orgasm if she likes, by using his fingers, tongue and mouth. But this exercise is not about having sex, It’s about caressing, exploring and touching, let him do all the touching. If she wants him naked as well that’s fine, but it’s a massage for her, She doesn’t have to attend to his sexual needs in any way. This is his opportunity to worship the female divinity in her – the Shakti or Goddess. Enjoy the feeling of not only being worshiped but also being the Goddess herself in human form -for that’s what she is and as such is entitled to be worshiped

Sensual, not Sexual

The next day it’s the mans turn to be worshiped. Again he should let his partner bathe and wash him. And let her give him the same soothing massage. Tell her which bits he likes to be touched, where he feels warmth and caresses from her hands. He is being worshiped as the representation, in human form, of the God Shiva, for that’s what he is. If he wishes, he can let his partner bring him to orgasm using her hands mouth and tongue but remember and this is important for men, real sex is not about ejaculation.

Tantric sex is about the energy generated by and during sex – and that is something separate from the male orgasm.

The Orgasm

In the West we are very goal oriented. We believe that every sexual encounter must end in orgasm or we will not be satisfied or fulfilled. However this is simply not true. There are many practitioners of Tantric sex who have refrained for years from ejaculating (which in the West we equate with orgasm) without losing anything from their sex lives; rather they have gained immeasurably.

Once we lose the need to be so focused on our orgasm we can begin to enjoy the journey. However, since you are just starting out you can still have your orgasm for this exercise, but it might be beneficial to try it again on another occasion and to deliberately decide not to have an orgasm and see how it feels. We will look at enhancing the male orgasm later on. You may find the exercise feels more satisfying because it has no end, no conclusion. If it ends in orgasm, there is then the need to find another focus, to move on to something else. But if it doesn’t end in orgasm then the feeling of being worshiped as Shiva continues and the afterglow remains.

Exercise 1

For the Man

You should lie down somewhere warm and comfortable. Imagine the site of each chakra as a small tightly furled flower or small leather bag. As you breathe out make the mantra sound for each chakra as you visualize it in turn, starting with the base chakra and finishing with the brow chakra. Imagine each chakra to be a flower opening as you breathe out – or the small leather bag having draw strings which are being slowly loosened. Work your way up your body imagining each chakra opening as you make the mantra sound as you exhale. You need to do this exercise with your eyes closed so you can visualize each chakra in turn.

This exercise can be done before you make love with your partner so that you are fully open and ready to feel energy moving within your body.

For the Woman

You should lie down somewhere warm and comfortable. Imagine each chakra as a flower turned upside down. As you breathe out make the sound of the chakra mantra and imagine each chakra in turn, starting with the base chakra and finishing with the crown chakra, to be the flower slowly turning until it is upright As it does so, imagine it becoming cooler and stiller as if filled with cold refreshing energy.

You should do this exercise before making love with your partner so that your chakras are open and you are ready to feel the energy moving within your body.

Purifying Energy

You can both also do this exercise as a method of cleansing or purifying your energy. As you visualize your energy reaching the crown chakra imagine it pouring out of the top of your head and being replaced with fresh new energy from your base chakra. Imagine all the collected energy of all your past lovers being replaced so that you can begin again with a fresh supply.

Exercise 2

Tantric Yoga Relaxation Position (Muladhara Sadhana)

Both you and your lover lie down side by side on your backs but facing opposite ways – your feet to your lover’s bead and vice versa. The man should lie with the woman along his right side so he can place his right hand lightly across her vulva. The woman can then use her right hand to hold his penis lightly.

Again, sensual, not sexual

This is an exercise to feel the energy rising from the base chakra up through the pelvic chakra and beyond.

Try to feel the warmth your lover’s hand generates in and through your genitals. As the warmth spreads, focus on it and feel it spreading upwards as energy.

The man will feel this energy slowly working its way up his spine. Whilst for the woman the energy will rise slowly up through her belly first and then her breasts.
The man’s energy, being hotter and more volatile, may well rise faster but he should not rush it. The woman’s energy being cooler and slower to arouse, will take longer. If during this exercise either becomes aroused to the point of orgasm then that’s all right.
Because we are orgasm oriented in the West it may take a while to learn to focus on the energy rather than the sexual experience.

Whatever way you do it, it should be an enjoyable experience. The whole basis of raising the kundalini energy is to share and experience the ‘godhead’ – if this isn’t done in a spirit of delight and enjoyment it will not be successful. There are some who have spent a whole lifetime practicing Tantric sex and getting nowhere because they do the whole thing as a ritual and miss the point completely.

Exercise 3

The Chakra Position… yab-yum

The man should sit on the floor and the woman should straddle him. He should insert his erect penis Into her vulva, but neither should move.

If the woman grasps the man around his back and he holds her around her shoulders, both should be able to relax and feel comfortable. Look into each other’s eyes. The Tantric texts suggest that you should both keep your tongue on the roof of your mouth as this helps the energy complete its circuit around your body.

You should both feel the warmth coming from each others pelvic chakra and concentrate on feeling the energy rising up.

The woman should feel the energy as a cool flow rising slowly up the front of her body. The man should feel the energy as a hot flow rising up his spine. This position is more about meditation than sex, although you may both orgasm in this position without moving. It gives you both a chance to relax and feel or visualize the energy moving without any expectations. It’s also very good for lovers who have problems with the man experiencing premature ejaculation. As there is no movement, no thrusting excitement, he should be able to keep his penis in position for quite a while before experiencing ejaculation. Again there are no expectations. If you don’t feel any energy moving you can visualize it instead. If only one of you feels the energy, then that’s also fine.

Sometimes this position is very good prior to making love as a means of establishing a contact, a sort of spiritual reaffirmation of your love for each other, How long you spend in this position is entirely up to you. It’s something you need to find out by experimentation. For some couples a few minutes seem to be enough, while other couples will enjoy this position so much that they are content to spend a considerable amount of time doing it.

If you do tire you can always lean back for a while and rest. You may even like to experiment by eating or drinking while doing this. You can talk to each other, tell each other stories. This position is about relaxing with, each other, feeling the energy, and trust You don’t have to do anything, go anywhere. Just be together in the most intimate way without wanting the other to be anything or anyone else – just be yourselves.

You can always try experimenting if you find this position uncomfortable. The man can sit in a chair, one without arms like a wooden kitchen chair, and the woman can sit astride him. He can then support her with his hands on her hips and she can rest her arms on his shoulders or even grip the back of the chair.

Exercise 4

This is an exercise for you to do either alone or together. Doing it alone is somewhat easier but it’s up to you. If you try it alone first you should bring yourself to orgasm in the way that suits you best. Masturbation is highly recommended by the Tantric texts as a means of getting in touch with your own sexuality, of finding out how things work and learning about the energy flow.

As you reach orgasm you should concentrate on the energy flow. Feel energy instead of simply experiencing the pleasure.

For the man you can imagine that you have a pump at the base of the spine and it’s going to pump the energy up your spine. As you orgasm you can clench and unclench your buttocks, Imagine this is the pump doing all the work.

For the woman you can imagine that the pump is located in your vaginal muscles. As you orgasm, squeeze your vaginal muscles in repeated contractions and relaxations so that you get the effect of a pump. Imagine the energy being pumped up the front of your body.

You can experiment with these exercises in complete safety. You might like to do Exercise 1 of this chapter before doing Exercise 4 So that your chakras are open and the energy has a good pathway to flow up. You may hear people suggest that experimenting with kundalini energy is dangerous or forbidden – well, it’s safe and it’s yours. You can do anything you like with it, experiment as much as you like, try what you will and find out how you feel about it all. If you feel uncomfortable with any of it you can stop. If, however, it makes you feel good or improves your sex life then you can continue with it. If you like it do it, if you don’t then don’t do it. It really is that simple. There is no danger and there are no rules.

Exploring your body
Please feel free to explore and learn as much about your own body and your lover’s as you wish. The only requirement is to remember that this is Tantric sex – sex with a focus on spirituality. However, even that will be forgotten sometimes when passion will overtake you, and that’s fine as well. Sex is not a serious business; it’s designed to be enjoyed and appreciated. If there are times you want to laugh or have fun instead of doing it all seriously then that’s a good thing.

If you want to try Exercise 4 together you should take it in turns to stimulate the other to orgasm, then relax and feel the energy. You can, of course, even masturbate each other at the same time but it can then be quite hard to concentrate as you would have three things to be focused on: your own orgasm, your partner’s and your own energy rising – that’s not to say you can’t, only that it takes a lot of effort and If you have little success it may not be the energy failing to rise but you failing to detect it because you’re distracted by having to concentrate on your partner’s orgasm.
The energy is quite subtle and if you are unused to feeling it, it can be easy to miss or fail to notice. After a few attempts you may feel the energy much more strongly and then you can incorporate other methods of loving into your repertoire.

Back to Back
One suggested method of doing Exercise 4 is for you both to sit back to back. Bring yourself to orgasm and experience the energy as you pump. You may even feel your partner’s energy rising as your backs are in such close contact. If you feel nothing it doesn’t matter as this variation on the exercise is fun and may be something you haven’t tried before.